I am a women without children. I am not sure if I even want children. I love them, I do, but I also love Saturday mornings lounging in bed, not getting up until I want to. I like being able to listen to the I, to the we, that means taking care of me and j only. And I am not saying I won't ever have kids. But I might not. And it's annoying to me that women with kids seem to believe that if you don't have kids you must still somehow want them. Like that is still what women are really for/about.
And it's annoying when people act like by wanting to have a career, an intellectual life, a result to that $150,000 education and the file of degrees I earned, that somehow that is me being selfish. Or that it's one or the other. Or that if I decide to be a working mother that it is because I some how have too.
And I love your kids because they are your kids, but they are not my kids and don't be surprised when I can't remember how old they are or whether or not they are walking.
Because guess what. I really don't care. Like you really don't care or remember what I got on my LSATS or what I am working on at my job/ in my classes.
It's not that I don't love your child. But my life doesn't revolve around your child like your life doesn't revolve around my trip to Italy.
And I am not allowed to get offended when you forget my promotion but you are when I forget your kid is allergic to brocoli.
Why are we women so insecure with our decisions that we need to prove that our choice is right for everyone. Like if you stay home as a parent you are going to fill my facebook feed with peaks at how good it is to be home with two toddlers every fucking day. No one believes you I might add. Because we have all been around two toddlers - it's the reason some of us pass on the children thing.
And if we decide to be working parents we are always making condescending comments on how at least you can show your child what a strong mother can be and our career and we're so great. And we all know it's bull shit because we saw that other mom's toddlers at the grocery store and we can't imagine doing that after a day at our job.
And those of us that may or may not have kids. It's not because we are infertile. It's not because we have commitment issues. It's not because we want to have money. It's just a choice like every other choice filled with personal nuances and public struggles and it's annoying when you condescendingly feel sorry for us when we are looking at you with your milk stained sweater and your plastic toy filled living room floor thinking thank fucking god we only have to be here for an hour.
And this will piss people off.
And this doesn't mean i don't love you. And your beautiful, exhausting, amazing child.
And this also doesn't mean that i won't love my own child one day.
But really. This is not a competition. You can't win. We are all in this together. We are all exposed to that noisy kid on the train, and to the brilliant little dancer they one day become.
Let's just admit that every choice is equally hard and easy, happy and trying. And most of all. A Choice.
