re:(stitution)(tribution)

fuck that family. fuck those "friends".

i bite my tongue
i make excuses for the followers. your church friends and cousins.
i can only imagine the things you say. i don't want to know those people who keep your company. no one like you could ever be like me.

what i meant to say all those years though is that i hate you.
you are incredibly unattractive people. outside and in.
you disgust me.

the ways you talk of me while all those years you beat him. did you know his therapist said you were toxic. narcissists. almost sadistic with the things you did. did you know a professional told him to limit contact with you. perhaps its because you walked around naked in front of your 20 year old son. or the names you called him. or the father fists making things come undone. the years you gave christmas presents to everyone but him. how can you call yourself christian and then treat us that way? judge so many?

you called us names for trying to make it work while teen after teen in your family had babies. how does that work? how were we the heathens?

you called me a temptation of the devil, left your crazy religious bull shit in our car, my fathers car, on our computer. i honestly think you are crazy. outside and in.

and you pretend now to know me/us/your son/what happened. he saw my family before yours on christmas. he has not slept in your house in three years. maybe four. you have seen him less than a handful of times in two years. he is sick and broken and angry because of you. he might even hate you. that is why we didn't tell you anything. let you find out from friends of friends on facebook. that must have been humiliating but perhaps you finally listened when he said 'it's not me it's you. it's them.'

so don't say my name one more time.
or i don't care. my god also has plans for you.