so i'm not always one for love stories. always wonder what comes next. there's always more. it never ends with girl meets guy. god knows i have run circles around strangers asking them to be more than they can. have tried to let his love somehow turn into my love. have wasted my time trying to make something work because it seemed easier than actually making a bet that i could lose.
today it's defiantly autumn. with a chill but without the wind. i have packed lifetimes into this year. folded up relationships that have rightfully failed (you don't need to make the wrong size fit__). a friend who actually put a gun to his head. pushing forward without two solid legs to stand on (though we shall see - maybe surgery can fix that).
after all these trial runs. the false starts. the early endings. i am ready to move towards my real life at last.
i have found the love that i stopped believing could happen. i find myself laughing so hard i forget to feel scared. and my house is a lot less clean than it once was. my emails longer unanswered. but for all the crying and relying i do, i have never felt better prepared.
No comments:
Post a Comment