just once i would like you to do the right thing just because it is the right thing. i have a fever again/still. i don't have the energy to anything with you. i am fighting for each day. just hoping that my body can do this. i am still surprised this has not all gone away. i hear them say autoimmune disease and i hear it, i do, but it's just that deep down and inside i still feel the same way i have always felt so it's hard to understand the things that my body now won't do.
so lets hope for remission or treatment or something.
or could i trade my 50 years of disease for the 4 years of cancer that will either kill or save you.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Victories
Into my second week of work and I am so exhausted my bones hurt and my doctor said I couldn't do it but I think I can. And I am. When you are as sick as me the smallest things become victories. And my small victories are huge today.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
say it once
i am starting a new job tomorrow. full time. another non profit and i think i will like the work. it's stuff i know - helping people get benefits and the things they need to stay in their housing. and i am excited to have a place to go each day again. to wear ironed shirts and to pack lentil salads and apples for my lunches. and i hope that i can do it. that i don't get too sick. that i am not too tired to make it through the days.
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