just once

just once i would like you to do the right thing just because it is the right thing. i have a fever again/still. i don't have the energy to anything with you. i am fighting for each day. just hoping that my body can do this. i am still surprised this has not all gone away. i hear them say autoimmune disease and i hear it, i do, but it's just that deep down and inside i still feel the same way i have always felt so it's hard to understand the things that my body now won't do.

so lets hope for remission or treatment or something.

or could i trade my 50 years of disease for the 4 years of cancer that will either kill or save you.