the last couple weeks have been hell for me. my leg is shit. i can hardly walk. i left the doctors with a gimpy crutch prescription and a handicapped placard. i feel so worn down. and maybe i have spent so much of my post-accident life fighting for each step forward that i forgot to take the time for acceptance.
for breathing.
because my leg is bad. and it's only going to get worse. and i don't know how i will ever be able to carry my own child in my arms. hell i don't know how i could carry a baby in my belly. all that extra weight. all those details that never occurred to me in the trauma of surviving.
i have survived.
and now i have to learn to live with this.
and some days it breaks my heart. some days i wonder why i have to go through all this. some days i don't feel "lucky to be alive".
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