it's just one of those days. when just waking up is such a hassle. what should i wear and there is no where i want to be and the only thing that sounds appealing is sitting on some empty cold cape cod beach and something about the open-ness of the day makes me angry and i don't know what i want to do. and it's friday.
and my dear friend from college is coming here.
and my dad is at mass general seeing his doc because he is sick and a liver is something you need these days. apparently.
and everyone is sick.
and i slept weird and i have a kink in my neck.
and josh's teenage sister had a baby and i want to see baby jackson and i really did love her but i can't imagine sitting two hours in a car with him. both ways.
and the house needs cleaning and the laundry needs folding and the bills need paying and on one income i am broke. broken.
and i am not responsible for ivan's passing but i dream it some days anyway.
and some times the mornings get me. i get frozen. it takes me an hour just to get up the energy to put on my clothes. and there is not one thing i want to do.
and it feels like suffocating.
and this is what we do.
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