mostly

i like walking through a house that has been touched by no one but me. i like finding my keys and my book and my gross work out clothes right where i left them. i like the quiet. i like the moment. i like the movement. i like eating bok choy in ramen for dinner. i like the sound of the leaves brushing against the side of my house.

i mean there are things. i mean there are moments. i mean being alone can be lonely. i want to go apple picking. do you want to go? i want to chase the sun. can you come?

even with all this. even without. i need the quiet moments to watch my netflix and to cry because she lost or he left or true love doesn't always win.

i am trying to be happy. i am doing the things. acupuncture, exercise, yoga breathing, eating well. warm baths. angry letters. good friends. international calls. i am trying to be happy.

and mostly, i am.