so right now i have the family plan on my phone covering me, my boyfriend, and my ex husband. i share custody of our chihuahua. my ex husband feels like a cousin. and i don't think he will ever go away. it's weird how okay it is. it's weird how good it is to still know him. to have that sad space gone.
christmas is coming.
it's so fucked this year. i was traveling. ivan died. my heart stopped a million times these past two weeks. i pulled my back out kicking the ground so hard when i rode my bike. just trying to get it out of me. just trying to be okay. it's hard to know what that even means.
because mostly i know i am.
and this is just one of those things i have to go through.
and saying good bye is hard. and the light can hurt your eyes.
but all i've got is time. and this dream. and this belief that i can be happy.
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