maybe you don't know about me and christmas. i don't even know why i love this time of year so. especially now. after all these years. after all those mornings sitting with a family that hated me. it was a relief to not have to take that drive. to not have to fake those smiles. to not have to bite my tongue in two.
and the times were nice. like before. sisters holding stockings. caroling. reading the old christmas stories, eating the old christmas foods, singing those old revels songs. pavarroti.
the old familiar. and i missed ivan and those christmas eve's we used to spend on helmsman road. and i missed sharing table top banter with the one i love most (as he bantered at home), though i saw him christmas day.
it's all different now. warm light, arms that hold me just right, and a star in the sky named after me.
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